‘ESSENCE OF MY LOVE’ SONG STORY
Writing songs has been a way I have found to process what has happened to me or express what is currently happening in my life - like a musical form of journal writing.
The experience which led me to write ‘Essence of my Love’ happened in a regular Sunday evening worship service I attended at my church. It was during a spontaneous moment where the band and singers were not singing the songs from the prepared song list. The music ebbed and flowed, rising and falling naturally. The whole experience lasted around 10-15 minutes.
I saw myself standing at the bottom of a long, curved staircase which was in the middle of a huge, rectangular hall. I could see at the very top there was a large throne which belonged to Father God. As the music built up, I slowly began climbing the stairs. I knew the music on stage would determine the number of steps I would take. For example, if the spontaneous phrases came to an end, I would find myself at the top of the staircase. But, if the phrases continued to repeat, I would take more turns of the staircase on my way up.
As I climbed, I could sense Jesus in the corner of the room behind me to my left. He was standing fairly still but his heart was glowing red with an electrical pulse in a transparent case. When I got to the top, the Father stood up and we danced. All the movements perfectly reflected the music that was happening live on stage. After we danced, I sat down on the top step of the staircase next to the throne.
Suddenly, in time with the climax of a crescendo on stage, four doors near each corner of the room flung open and a forceful wind blew through them and up towards the throne. (I sensed they were the four winds from the four corners of the earth). Each of the four winds swept upwards and joined together as one, forming a whirlwind above the throne. I looked up to the top of the whirlwind and saw a huge world globe spinning at such a great speed that I could barely make out its detail.
I looked over to the Father and he was standing with both arms outstretched, inhaling slowly and breathing it all in with the most satisfied smile. I sensed that with the wind came praise in ALL its forms. The Father could hear it, see it, taste it, smell it, feel and touch it - every sense known AND unknown. Everything was praise including color, light, and sounds. Music notes were floating up into the whirlwind and the atmosphere was alive.
The lyrics to my song ‘Essence of my Love’ captured what I visualized as best I could. But there was more to my experience not penned in the song.
As I was sitting at the top of the stairs next to the throne, children started slowly ascending the stairs until the entire staircase was filled with expectant faces. They were packed in and all intently looking at me and the Father like we were about to start reading them a story - the kind my own father (a children’s pastor for many years) would’ve told, where every child was gripped by the first sentence, spellbound.
Then, one by one, children began randomly rising into the air with one arm outstretched holding a ‘string’. At first glance it looked like the kind of string that would be attached to a helium balloon, but as I looked more closely, each hand was grasping the end- or a ‘tail’- of the wind. As more children rose, they gradually began drifting apart, as though they were going out all over the earth.
In everything I visualized, I have asked myself what God was trying to show me about his nature and my role in partnering with his heart through the experience.
What does this experience say to you about the heart of God? As you listen, do you see imagery specifically for yourself?