VIOLET (BACK STORY)
Here is the back story of my instrumental piece ‘VIOLET’ which released on my “Notes to Nurture” instrumental album. This album of music reflects on memories from my childhood.
VIOLET is……
-My Grandmother’s name.
-My Grandpa telling her he told her the day they married that he loved her and if that ever changed he’d let her know.
-Me wondering if she wanted more.
-Me wanting more than this for my own marriage relationship.
-The colour variant I got married in (with daisies cut and hand dyed from my mother's 1970’s wedding dress).
- Three woven generations of women in my family.
- About LOVE and the possibilities and potential of authentic connection in marriage.
The instrumental music of VIOLET explores the legacy of women in my family and the paths chosen for marriage and family. I wrote Violet at the piano reminiscing about my grandmother (Nana) and what life was like for her. Was she happy? Was she fulfilled? I know she loved her garden, growing flowers knowing them all by name and the beach. She was kind, sensitive and generous. She sang and whistled a lot.
It was the 1930’s and she intended to marry the love of her life, but he took that decision out of her hands by going on a trip and getting another woman pregnant. He felt obligated to marry the other and both parties were heartbroken. I am told that she made mention of this throughout her life. She married my Grandpa and her sister married my Grandpa’s brother. Two sisters. Two brothers. Then, World War 2.
This hardened my already tough Grandpa and decimated his brother, my Great Uncle, who fought on all major war fronts and came back an emotional shell of his former self with severe PTSD. I remember him. The bottle, the rolling of cigarettes, the smell which still triggers memory. And, his sweetness. I still have his (now fragile) violin music with all the latest hits from the 20s and 30s.
At the end of my Grandpa’s life, he told my Mum that he never felt he had loved anyone. My Mum told him she knew he did and I’m told he wrote letters in WW2 to my Nana expressing care and love. I felt he loved us and loyally looked out for us. He had a deep, soft spot which I was privy to. But, did my Nana feel loved by him? Did she let her heart choose him and love in return? How did she navigate this? I was too young to think about this when I had the chance to ask. She stayed with him, of course. Those were the days you stayed. But I remember harsh words. I remember also stories of them fiercely protecting their three growing girls and I also felt protected as a grandchild in their fold.
I wish I understood more and could have ask her questions. However, this was the generation in which you did not ‘process’. You ‘got on with it’. (Your life.) Questions snugly buried. It was ‘better’ this way.
I thought of my Mum and the choices she made to live life differently and I saw her walk that out. I remember and I smile. Now, my own life and marriage looks different again because of choices she made and I continue to make. Our three paths look vastly different. But then, the world has ‘progressed’. But thankfully, so have I. Shaped by the family who raised me, the family I raise and a husband who is still graciously learning me as I learn myself.
One choice that comes around daily for me is the choice to deepen and strengthen my own marriage relationship amidst ritual, routine, travel and the many coloured feelings. Anyone in a committed relationship knows that it is WORK whether re-connecting from a disconnect, or maintaining an intimate connection. I’m here for it. We both are and we know it.
Coincidentally, my parents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary the very day that my VIOLET instrumental single released: January 6th, 2023.
We are three women connected through Violet.
HOW WE RECORDED VIOLET:
The luscious sounds you hear on VIOLET are piano (played by Cleveland Bonéy) and 6 string instruments all recorded at once - 2 violins, 2 violas and 2 cellos - to give a synergistic sound (instead of the layering each individual instrument track by track). I love recording strings this way and prefer hearing the imperfections all blended together to sound organic and relatively untreated.
Here is a BEHIND THE SCENES peek at what the recording process looked like. WATCH HERE.
HERE’S WHAT THE AUDIENCE SAID when they heard VIOLET LIVE at my NOTES to NURTURE album release show:
“Violet took me on a journey… I was in a different world. Very emotional - I cried.” Miranda
“Violet brought me warmth and tingles in my chest.” Gabby
“Something about the way Violet rose and fell felt like the tide and transported me to a place of peace where waves lap the shore and the sun warms my soul.” Kimberly
LISTEN TO MY VIOLET AUDIO HERE on my “Notes to Nurture” album. The LIVE performance video version of VIOLET will release later in 2023.